Whenever possible, women should substitute “we” for “I”. A woman’s request will be better recieved if she asserts, “We had a great year,” as opposed to “I had a great year.”
lk 47
Whenever possible, women should substitute “we” for “I”. A woman’s request will be better recieved if she asserts, “We had a great year,” as opposed to “I had a great year.”
lk 47
When a man helps a colleague, the recipient feels indebted to him and is highly likely to return the favor. But when a woman helps out, the feeling of indebtedness is weaker. She’s communal, right? She wants to help others./…/ Even more fustrating, when a woman declines to help a colleague, she often receives less favorable reviews and fewer rewards. But a man who declines to help? He pays no penalty.
lk 45–46
As a girl, you know that being smart is good in lots of ways, but it doesn’t make you particulary popular or attractive to boys.
lk 42
If a woman pushes to get the job done, if she’s highly compentent, if she focuses on result rather on pleasing others, she’s acting like a man. And if she acts like a man, people dislike her.
lk 41
When a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less.
lk 40
Traditionally, women expected inequality in marriage, looking for husbands who were older, taller, richer, and more intelligent than themselves. Not surprisingly, these same husbands continue to earn more and expect their careers to take precedence. We used to be taught to avoid even the appearance of equality lest it threaten the marriage and lead to competition and conflict. Today, women seek equality, but the male game of “Anything you can do, I can do better” makes for a dull world.
lk 109
And in situations where a man and a woman each receive negative feedback, the woman’s self-confidence and self-esteem drop to a much greater degree.
lk 30
Ask a man to explain his success and he will typically credit his own innate qualities and skills. Ask a woman the same question and she will attribute her success to external factors insisting she did well because she “worked really hard,” or “got lucky,” or “had help from others.” Men and women also differ then it comes to explaining failure. When a man fails, he points to factors like “didn’t study enough” or “not interested in the subject matter”. When a woman fails, she is more likely to believe it is due to an inherent lack of ability.
lk 30
Women have traditionally been regarded as conservative and inclined to stay at home. Going forth to seek adventure as been regarded as male speciality—running away to sea, joining the circus, seeking new worlds to conqure. But conquest is not the best route to learning.
lk 66
…she was largely unaware that being female can be just as much of disadvantage as being black. “You’ve got to get out of the household at least for a moment to meet up with the race question, but you wake up every day meeting the gender queation, so you donät even notice it. It’s pretty intimate.”
lk 44
Multiple studies in multiple industries show that women often judge their own perfomance as worse than it actually is, while men judge their own perfomance as better than it actually is.
lk 29
(Dr. Peggy McIntosh) explained that many people, but especially women, feel fraudulent when they are praised for their accomplishments. Instead of feeling worthy of recogntion, they feel underserving and guilty, as if a mistake has been made. Despite being high achivers, even experts in their fields, women can’t seem to shake the sense that it is only a matter of time until they are found out for who they really are—imposters with limited skilles or abilities.
lk 28
Today, the materials and skills which a life is composed are no longer clear. It is no longer possible to follow the paths of previous generations. This is true for both men and women, but it is especially true fo woman, whose whole lives no longer need be dominated by the rhythms of procreation and the dependencies that these created, but who still must live wiht the discontinuities of female biology and still must balance confliciting demands. Our lives not only take new directions; they are subject to repeated redirection, partly because of the extensions of our years of health and productivity. Just as the design of a building or of a vase must be rethought when the scale is changed, so must the design of lives. Many of the most basic consepts we use to construct a sense of self or the design of a life have changed their meanings: Work. Home. Love. Commitment.
lk 2
Professional ambition is expected of men but is optional—or worse, sometimes even a negative—for women. “She is very ambitous” is not a compliment in our culture. Aggressive and hard-charching women violate unwritten rules about acceptable social conduct. Men are continually applauded for being ambitious and poweful and successful, but women who display these same traits often pay social penalty.
lk 17
A 2011 McKinsey report noted that men are promoted based on potential while women are promoted based on past accomplishments.
lk 8